This is a mismash of an entry because I am shocked. I am shocked that after 42 years of plastic togetherness, Ken and barbie have gone their own ways. 42 years of celibacy and plastic burns are all over. I have been in tears all morning.

It got me thinking about break ups. Breaking up is supposedly never easy to do but I have a friend who has made it easy. She breaks up with her boyfriends via text message. One minute their phone beeps in their happy little world and the next it is all over.

I have never had a really bad break up. I am still aquaintances with most people I have broken up with. I would say friends but it hasnt worked out that way. Strange that but such is life.

The worst I had was a girl I only had one date with. We met at a bank function and in an alcoholic haze decided we had heaps in common so set a date for the next night where we sat in total quiet for four hours and conversation went around in circles. Nothing has ever bored me more in my entire life.

The next day she called me and I let her know it wasnt going any further. She abused me for leading her on and how was she to tell her family (we hadnt even kissed). I rather heartlessly replied with "you shouldnt have told them anything, that is just weird, tell them something is wrong with you". I had just recieved a torrent of abuse so my hackles were up.

An hour after I hung up I got flowers sent to me at work. Yellow roses which I dont know what they mean because I am a guy and we dont know shit like that. I read the card which professed love for me. I tore it up, gave the flowers to a guy I worked with and told him to give them to his wife. At least something good came from the whole ordeal with his wife being very nice to him apparently. He also started taking home flowers regularly.

Then for about a month afterwards I would get messages on my phone "I saw you with that bitch last night". All sorts of weird things after I had gone out with friends. Spooky stuff. Eventually though she just faded away and probably found someone equally psychotic for a life of happiness together. I never dated another banker after that though!

So that is my little Ken and Barbie tribute. Maybe soon we will be able to buy "stalker barbie" in shops or "suicidal ken", who knows where the marketing potential lies, I am sure Mattel do and I am sure we will all be horrified.

Keep Smiling

Jason

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