Today is more of a ptachwork entry with some more useless facts about me. I am sure most of you have no interest whatsoever so if you skip back an entry there is something really funny about a guy getting his testicles caught in a seat. For the rest of you here are ten really useless facts about me.

- My mother held the New Zealands airforce record for being able to assemble a machine gun whilst blindfolded.

- Somebody (Brit) has left me a note letting me know she is going to turn my green steak episode into a short film for her English class. How ace is that!!!

- I have learned that when temporarily dressing as a woman, lemons make excellent breasts because they sort of look like they have nipples.

- I saw Barry Crocker yesterday, a mans whose singing was so awful he is famous for only two reasons. Firstly his name is now slang for having a shocker and secondly for singing the neighbours theme song which has since been re-recorded.

- I cannot dance, when I attempt to dance I look like I am "having a seizure whilst someone tries to insert something oversized up my back passage". I am just saying is all.

- I have also learned that is you ever get hit with a flour bomb, two of the worst things to try and wash it out of you hair with are coke and tomato sauce. It may seem obvious but you could be surprised what you will resort to.

- I once laid a whole living area of a house with slate tiles which is hard work and a ridiculous thing for someone as lazy as myself to attempt.

- There are no mosquitos like the ones in the tropical parts of Australia. In the dark they sound like a helicopter right above you, they have an IQ of 180 which makes thm impossible to outsmart and a bit like a rabid dog.

- I became the class clown at school after learing the power of laughter at a friends birthday party when I made thickshake come from his nose all over his pancakes. This was thickshake so thick it was nearly impossible to get up the straw yet I got it through his sinuses.

- Ten is my favourite number in th whole world. Ever since my favourite footballer used to wear it. It has never bought me much luck but I still love it.

Keep Smiling

Jason

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