Whyis your life so out there Jason? I get asked that in relation to my diary a lot and you know what. I just cant make this shit up. Today is a new one. This is a letter I just sent my mum.

"good luck finding him and would love to know about him when you do. Nothing to be sorry about from my point of view as I have no problems with the way I was bought up or anything related. Is a non issue in that regards and I hope you can put your mind at ease.

Lots of love

Jason"

Short and to the point but what else can you do when you find out at the age of 29 that you arent actually the oldest sibling at all. You have a half brother somewhere in the world that you dont know.

Should I be angry, I guess so. Am I angry, yeah I guess. Where do I direct that anger? Cant be at my mum because I am unable to direct anger at my mum. She has suffered enough through everything. So no anger, just a slight dose of resentment I guess.

It doesnt bother me as much as it perhaps should. My family is a weeks worth of Jerry Springer episodes just dying to happen. We could monopolise his time with our white trash antics.

That is my anger vented now. I can stop and breath.

I have another brother, a half brother that I may or may not ever get to know. Mum had him when she was very young and gave him up for adoption.

You will have to excuse how broken up this entry is because I have only known this for ten minutes. This is me brainstorming how I am suposed to react and working out what to do.

I guess first thing will be a chat with Heidi who has a habit of putting the world in perspective for me. It a week it isnt going to feel as important, in fact I would be surprised if I hear anything about it again until mum makes contact if she can.

anyhows, what a bloody weird day.

keep smiling

Jason

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