So on Thursday I have a job interview, one that pays more money and involves possibly less work. What more could a boy ask for? Well I am glad you asked. I am thinking of publishing a list of demands for future employers.

- IV drip with coke fed straight into my veins from first thing in the morning.

- The right to threaten incompetant staff with the death penalty then and there on the spot.

- Corporate wardrobe should consist of sandals, shorts and a tshirt. That is if I can be bothered putting a tshirt on.

- I control the thermostat and it will be as low as it will go.

- My boss should ask me three times a day if I would like my boots licked.

- I should be allowed to write my staffs performance appraisals based on how well they suck up to me and what sort of bribes they offer.

- Naked Tuesdays (thanks Joey)

- Beer and spirits should be provided based on my stress levels and should served in tall glasses.

- I would like circus acrobats ready to keep me amused should I ever have nothing to do.

- I would like the job nice and easy so I frequently have nothing to do.

- Once a month I should be allowed to evaluate my worth to the company and adjust my pay as I see fit.

- I control the music that is played.

- Debbie Gibson must be hired to sit in the office next to mine and sing the on-hold music for our customers.

- My office should have padded walls so I can ram staff members heads into them upon the onset of frustration kicking in.

- I should be allowed to prod staff with a red hit poker in order to improve effiency.

- My working hours shall be from 1 in the afternoon til approximate 2 in the afternoon and only on Tuesdays.

Now I dont think I am asking too much but we will have to wait and see. In the meantime wish me luck as I cruise into the interview with my list of demands and if that doesnt work I may well have to beg. Who knows how low I will go.

keep smiling

Jason

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