I got the new job, for those wondering where I have been, well I have been at my new job. There are a couple of things I would like to share about my new job. The first one and the most simple of all of them is that I will have business cards. For the first time ever in my working career I will have a card. I am giving them to everyone!!!

Now the second thing has nothing to do with my job. It is however in the same street and I have to walk past it every day. It bugs me beyond belief and I have no idea why. I am building this up you see in the hope that you will feel my frustration.

See there is a secondhand car yard. Nothing weird about that except on the front door there is a huge “factory outlet” sign. This is how my mind works. I can’t let it go. What kind of crazed people are working in a factory making used cars and ho does it work?

Is there a giant treadmill in there where they take new cars and run up a few thousand miles to make them worth less?

Perhaps they have shopping trolleys, which they push into new cars

Do they hire drunken teenagers to throw up in the back?

Maybe for the higher value second hand cars they have a little old lady come in and drive in to church every Sunday.

Perhaps they replace all the seat covers with something more threadbare and then cover those with pretend cowskin.

I am also pretty sure they must capture taxi drive body odour and pour it into the car.

I wonder if they use their own keys to place the scratch marks down the side of the cars

Also how many kids they must use to smush food into the seats that can never be removed.

Whatever they are doing there I feel like popping in and telling them that the cars are worth way more before they make them second hand. I am sure however if I do that they will tell me to get a life and stop wondering about such useless crap.. Sounds like a fair deal.

Keep Smiling

Jason

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