Work has been crazy. I have never worked so many bloody hours in my life as I have in the past month. 11 hour days are the norm and the pressure is just unbelievable, especially for me as usually I dont let work affect me.

Working those sort of hours means considerably less time with those you love and less time to do the things you love. This drives me absolutely crazy.

So I am going to quit. Not straight away, I will give them a couple of month to get their act together or I will leave. The catch I guess is that I am not telling them they have this time frame. I shouldnt have to.

I want to run away again. I want to make a mad dash somewhere and hide but I cant because now there are people everywhere relying on me including this damn place of work. If I left they would fall over and go out of business as due to others leaving I suddenly hold most of the important information in my usually empty head.

It wont be long though until I will be my usual free wheeling self and online more often updating this diary thing and being the person you all got to know in the first place.

I am back doing my volunteer work at the childrens hospital. It helps with the hours I am working to have an object of balance. Something that shows no matter how down I feel, I am still able to make a differance in some other peoples lives. Usually for the positive as well which is nice.

A lot of my favourite kids however died whilst I was away. So rather than the normal level of grief I feel when one dies it is sort of multiplied by 5. Great news that my absolute favourite child is still in remission and looking every bit like she will be ok.

Anyhow. I am off to check some emails, read some diarys and head off to see Heidi.

Keep Smiling

Jason

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