Today was an experience. The building next door to us at work is being renovated. I have a chat to the builders all the time and we share a few dirty jokes and do what blokes do.

Today one of them comes up to me and asks if I can check the security tapes from the front of the building to see if anything suss happened last night. I was a bit confused, firstly cos we dont have a camera out the front and secondly cos why would he want to see it.

He takes me next door and shows me. Right in the middle of their doorway is a brand new, very fresh smelling poo. The confusion is it didnt look like a dog poo and the guys had been having a little bit of a bet on whether it was animal or human.

My money was on human being that would take a pretty smart dog to jump over the wooden boards they have securing the place and smoke the cigarettes that were left around the place or drink the beer from the empty cans lying around.

It isnt my first poo related banking experience. When I worked in Mandurah branch we were all sitting at our counters when an old valiant pulled up. They let their kid out to go to the toilet in our garden. Not unusual for little kids to pee against a tree but this one pulled down his pants, laid some cable, jumped back in the car and took off.

Or when I was point of referance for a branch in one of Melbournes slightly seedier suburbs I got a call in regards to cleaning up a mess. A lovely smackhead had opped in to "borrow 20 bucks mate", they refused as you do so she went outside, pulled her pants down, bent over and sprayed the branch with a torrent of the worst diarrhoea you ever saw (I was sent pictures).

After 9 years of banking I have three poo related stories. On average I have three years before they bother me again.

Keep Smiling
Jason

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