When I was about 12, year 7 at school I had the inappropriate teacher. You know the one you think at the time is the coolest guy in the world but when you look back realise was just a tosser.

The incident that sticks in my mind was when one of my classmates left the room to blow her nose. We all watched as she stood by the classroom window and let rip with a killer blow. Then as most people do, she stood there, opened the tissue and looked what had come out.

At once there was pandemonium. Kids howling with laughter and screaming in hysterics. The teacher instantly out of control and the kid outside horrified that she was being laughed at although probably not sure why.

Once the teacher calmed us down he told us the story of how just a week earlier he had gone to the toilet for a nie dose of number twos. After he had completing his business he took a good look and realised "there was blood in my stool".

As a 12 year old kid I was confused, firstly I wasnt sure why there was a stool in the toilet. He then explained that was the proper term. He then told us how this could of meant all sort of things and how he went and saw a doctor and everything was ok but how he was lucky he looked. We should all look.

He then advised the problem had been he left it too loong to go to the toilet and the "stool had become too hard to pass, thus when I eventually did pass it, there was blood".

I am not sure what his point was but sure as hell made sure I kept myself regular in the playground. We still teased the girl at lunchtime and asked if she found anything to eat. By the next day it was old news as we ruthlessly moved onto someone else for something different.

Keep Smiling

Jason

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